Spoons

Spoons is a card game with a drinking rule bolted on, and it is one of the few drinking card games where the cards are almost beside the point. Everyone is passing cards left as fast as they can, watching their hand for four of a kind, and watching the middle of the table for the moment somebody’s hand moves. When it does, every hand moves. The player who ends up without a spoon drinks.

What you need

• A full deck of 52 cards, jokers out
• Spoons, one fewer than the number of players (forks and pens work in a pinch)
• A drink per player
• A table everyone can reach the middle of without standing up

Setup

1. Put the spoons in the middle of the table, handles pointing out. Every player should be able to reach at least one without leaning. If the table is round, put them in a star.
2. Shuffle and deal four cards to each player. Look at your hand, but keep it low. Nobody else needs to know what you are collecting.
3. Put the rest of the deck face down next to the dealer. The dealer draws from it for the whole round.
4. Set the penalty. A few sips is standard. Decide it now so the round does not end in a negotiation.

How to play Spoons

1. The dealer draws the top card of the deck and adds it to their hand. They now hold five cards.
2. The dealer picks one card and passes it face down to the player on their left. Nobody ever holds more than five cards, and nobody keeps five for long.
3. Each player takes the card passed to them and passes one on. Look at the new card, decide which of your five you want least, and slide it left. The last player in the circle discards to a face-down pile instead of passing.
4. Keep the cards moving. The dealer does not wait for anyone. If cards pile up in front of you, that is your problem, and it is the problem that makes the game fun.
5. When you hold four of a kind, take a spoon. Quietly, if you can manage it. Sliding one into your lap without anyone noticing is the best feeling the game offers.
6. When you see a spoon move, grab one. You do not need four of a kind to grab. The only rule is that someone else has to have started it.
7. The player with no spoon drinks. Then the deal moves left, the spoons go back in the middle, and the next round starts.

Penalties at a glance

The first row is the game. The rest are house rules most tables end up adding by the third round.

Result	Penalty
Left without a spoon	Drink the agreed amount
Grabbed before anyone had four of a kind	Double the penalty, and the round restarts
Spoon ends up on the floor	Whoever dropped it drinks one
Nobody noticed the first grab for a full pass	Everyone else drinks, the grabber is exempt
Four Aces to start the grab	Everyone else drinks double

Variations and house rules

• Letters. The classic elimination rule. Each time you lose a round you earn a letter of S-P-O-O-N-S and drink. Spell the word and you are out of the game, and then the remaining players remove a spoon and keep going. It turns a twenty-minute game into an hour.
• Pass on command. The British pub version. Pull out one set of four matching ranks per player, deal every card, and skip the draw pile. The dealer calls “pass” every few seconds and everyone passes one card left at the same time. Faster, louder, and nobody is ever behind on cards.
• Spoons around the room. Put the spoons somewhere other than the middle of the table: across the room, on top of the fridge, under the sofa. The grab becomes a sprint, and the table gets knocked over about once a night.
• Tongue. No spoons at all. When you have four of a kind, stick your tongue out. Anyone who notices does the same, and the last person with their tongue in drinks. The tell is harder to hide than a spoon.
• Pig. Same as Tongue, but you touch your finger to your nose. Better for tables where people are eating.
• Dares, not drinks. The loser does a dare chosen by the winner instead of drinking. Good for a mixed table or later in the night.
• Drink the rank. The loser drinks the number on the winning four of a kind, in sips. Four 3s is gentle, four Kings is thirteen, four Aces is one and an argument.

Tips

• Keep the penalty small. Spoons rounds take about two minutes and the same person often loses three in a row, because the last to react is usually the last to react. A few sips per round adds up faster than it sounds.
• Spread the spoons. Spoons bunched in the middle get knocked across the table in the grab, and the player farthest from them loses every time. A star shape gives everyone a fair reach.
• Watch hands, not cards. After the first few passes, nobody is winning with clever card selection. The game is reaction time.
• Use metal spoons and take the drinks off the table before the grab. The one thing worse than losing a round is losing it and cleaning up.